Bill’s mother wasn’t the most personable person, even on the best of days, so when Bill realized that he was going to need to hire live in care for seniors because his mother’s health and strength had been diminished, he didn’t know what to expect. The idea was laughed at by his mother when he brought it up and when she realized that he wasn’t joking, she became stern and adamant that she “wasn’t going to have some stranger come and live in her home, eat her food, use her electricity, and get paid to do it.”
She honestly believed that she was still more than capable of taking care of herself and this was a belief that was based on a long life of caring for others, raising three children, taking care of her husband as he was sick, and dealing with so many other issues. She couldn’t imagine needing someone to be a live in caregiver for her.
One of the reasons why she couldn’t see this as a viable option was that Bill had been taking care of her for quite a while. She didn’t realize all of the things that she struggled with because Bill was there to do them for her. So he had to point out all of the times, just during the past few months, when he had to stop by and help her out, to do certain things for her, and to even help her get out of bed and get down the hall to the kitchen.
Sometimes we think that we are more capable of doing certain things than we really are. It can be a difficult thing to accept that we can no longer do the things that were once quite simple. For Bill’s mother, it took some time to convince her that she couldn’t live on her own in a safe manner anymore. When she finally accepted that she would need some help, she wanted to know why she couldn’t move in with her son.
“Because you don’t get along with my wife,” he said.
The only option that was left was live in care for seniors and the way that Bill helped her cope with that concept was that he continued to stop by and check on her every day for several weeks, just as he had done for the previous year. In time, his mother become comfortable with Sara, the live in caregiver, though she still gave Sara a hard time. Sometimes, coping means a gradual transition.
Comfort Keepers of Flemington, New Jersey, has a team of eight support staff who will be your primary contacts and your advocates.
Nancy Hmieleski, R.N., C., B.S, is the Director of Nursing and supervises the Certified Home Health Aides (CHHA) that work out of the Comfort Keepers Flemington office. Pat Corlett, RN, is the Case Manager.
General Manager Rebecca Tenore, Client Care Coordinators; Suzanne M. White, Kelly Balodis, Christine Lehr, along with Office Assistant, Nancy Russell, are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days per year to answer your questions. You will hear a friendly voice no matter when you call.
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