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Why Mom’s ‘Pushing Your Buttons’ as Her Caregiver

Caregiver Stress in Linden NJ

You’re doing this because you love your mother. You certainly don’t have to be stopping by her house almost daily to help her with a wide range of things. You have a lot going on in your own life, numerous responsibilities you still have to take care of, and you’re barely having time to do anything else, much less take care of yourself.

Caregiver Stress in Linden NJ

Caregiver Stress in Linden NJ

As a family caregiver, you’re probably dealing with a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. You would just appreciate it if your mother accepted your assistance without making some type of comment, defying you, or even doing things you expressly tell her not to do.

So why is she pushing your buttons?

When a person feels as though they’re losing independence, especially if they feel like an adult child is treating them like a child, they’re probably going to be resistant. Your mother may be limited in her physical capabilities, but that doesn’t change the fact she’s your mother, an independent individual, and has the right to determine what happens in her own life.

She may be limited in her mobility.

Your mother might not be able to do many of the basic tasks she used to take for granted. She might call you almost daily for assistance, reminders, or to vent her frustrations because she can’t find something in the house.

This can certainly add a tremendous amount of stress to your life. Maybe things were already stressful for you, but you didn’t anticipate just how challenging this job was going to be.

All you want, all you’re asking, is for her to appreciate your effort. She doesn’t have to agree with everything, but it seems like she’s arguing and fighting with you over every single thing. You tell her to keep some of the spices down on the shelf or counter top so she can reach them. She keeps putting them away, dragging her stepladder out to do so.

You might advise her to not do the laundry unless you’re there, yet you see her having already done a couple of loads. You know it’s not safe for her to go up and down stairs.

You ask about medications she’s supposed to be taking and she tells you to mind your business. This wasn’t typical behavior before, but now it’s becoming commonplace.

Your mother may simply be exerting control, any type of control she can grab onto, in her life. If you feel like your mother is pushing your buttons deliberately and not paying attention to what you advise her to avoid or do, it’s time to look at things from a different perspective. By hiring a home care provider, you and your mother can avoid some potentially uncomfortable and damaging challenges in your relationship.

If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring home care to reduce caregiver stress in Linden, NJ, please call the caring staff at Key Home Care. Serving Metuchen and Surrounding Communities For Over 14 Years. Call Today (732) 205-1635


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Sharon Muenster

Owner at Key Home Care
Sharon received a BS degree in Business Administration and began working in banking and various financial institutions before opening her first home care agency in 2002. After living through watching her mother take care of her grandmother and great aunt in her home, with the help of a caregiver, Sharon saw the need for this service. She researched all the options available to people and then decided to open her own company so she could not only provide caregivers to families but also be a resource for families in the same situation her family was in.

After 14 years in business, Sharon fully immersed herself in the senior community. She became the president of the Senior Commission in her home town of Metuchen, NJ. She is also on the Accessibility Commission in Metuchen. Sharon has been a member of the Metuchen Chamber of Commerce since 2002.

Sharon grew up in Perth Amboy, NJ with her parents, two sisters and one brother, and moved to Metuchen in 1999.

Sharon has learned a lot about the needs of seniors and their families. Everyone's situation is unique and needs to be handled individually. Sharon likes to get to know her clients by communicating with them and finding out what would make their difficult situation a little more pleasant.

In her free time, Sharon has two children that keep her busy and enjoys playing tennis whenever she can.

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