George had always been the kind of independent, free-spirited individual his friends envied. He didn’t listen to other people, didn’t really care what they thought, and when his father, who was living alone, became ill, it was suggested that he step up to take care of him. George was adamantly opposed to the idea and this caused a great deal of anger.
His father was upset.
His father wanted to remain home, and knew that was only possible if somebody else helped him. He claimed he wouldn’t need a lot of support, only once or twice a week, but George had seen this play out before. His wife had taken care of her mother during her waning years in life, and it eventually consumed all of her free time.
George knew his father and the rest of his family was going to be upset with him. He knew they were going to lash out. After all, George lived right around the corner from his father, so why wouldn’t he bother to take care of him?
Because George saw what caregiver stress did to his wife.
He wasn’t about to go through that again, personally or with her. Yes, he had his own way of doing things and preferred his personal time over helping out some people, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be there. He simply knew there were limits on his time and his career, his full-time job, basically took the vast majority of it.
His free time was sparse. How could he possibly maintain his focus at work, his healthy relationship with his wife, and stay healthy if he was devoting whatever few minutes he had to his father?
He kept bringing up home care support.
He wasn’t saying he didn’t care. He wasn’t saying his father could just take his chances and hope for the best. He had mentioned home care aides from the beginning. Even before his father needed help he was talking about home care support, but his father, his sister, and others wouldn’t listen at that time.
They saw him as the most likely resource because of his close proximity. When a person like George is facing the anger from an aging parent or other family members because they won’t be a full-time or even part-time primary caregiver, it can hurt. It can cause guilt and that guilt can change decisions.
Fortunately for George he was prepared for this. He kept telling everyone with a home care aide his father would be safe, healthy, and far better off than if he, George, were trying to take care of him in the scattered minutes he might have free throughout the day.
If you or an aging loved one are considering home care to reduce caregiver stress in East Brunswick, NJ, please contact the caring staff at Care Street Home Care of New Brunswick today. Call (732) 607-8870.
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